Haine stops play - 2009 in review
03 Jan 2010 - 14:19:53
2009 was an eventful year in cricket. Here is the year as I remember it…
It began in dramatic fashion when Peter Moores was sacked as technical director of England and Kevin Pietersen was removed as captain on January 7th.
This came to happen after disagreements between the two. They included clashes over training regimes and selection policy as well as when Moores borrowed KP’s DVD of 'Bedazzled' without asking and the time Pietersen wrote a naughty word in sun cream on Moores's back while he fell asleep in the Indian sunshine.
Exactly one month after this debacle, England were skittled out for 51 in the first Test in the West Indies under the new leadership duo of Andrew Strauss and Andy Flower. Jerome Taylor infamously finished with figures of 5-11 after he plied England’s middle-order with copious amounts of Jamaican rum during the lunch break on day four.
Later in February, the ECB was forced to cut all ties with billionaire Allen Stanford when it was proved he didn't actually like cricket and was, hence, tried for fraud.
In late 2008, South Africa triumphed in Australia but, in March 2009 they were beaten at home by Ricky Ponting's men. This was a series in which Australian opener Phillip Hughes became the youngest player to hit twin centuries and the shortest ever left-hander with a five-o'clock shadow to be out for a duck on Test debut.
In June, the razzmatazz of the ICC T20 World Cup came to England. The Netherlands pulled off one of the great upsets ever in the tournament opener when they beat the hosts by four wickets at Lord's. A Stuart Broad over-throw gave the Netherlands victory from the last ball as the England all-rounder missed a simple run-out chance.
It was later reported that the 23-year-old was seen parading round the Nursery Ground in a brand new leather jacket*.
Pakistan beat Sri Lanka in the final, thanks to an inspired performance from Shahid Afridi, whose second six of his innings brought one Pakistan supporter in Lahore so much unadulterated joy that he kissed the man next to him was subsequently jailed for being a sodomite.
August saw England regain the Ashes after a thrilling final Test at the Oval. The end of the series brought the retirement of Andrew Flintoff from Test cricket. His plans for retirement include becoming the best one-day cricketer in the world as well as owning and pig farm in Norfolk and starring in Celebrity Big Brother.
It was announced towards the end of the year by the game's bosses that the Umpire Decision Review System would now be available in all Test matches.
The ICC's original plan was to develop a cyborg to render all human umpires useless. It was hoped to have a decision accuracy of 120 per cent - knowing if the batsman is out or not before the bowler even reaches his delivery stride.
Here's to a great 2010. Happy New Year.
*Stuart Broad has never been involved in match-fixing…to my knowledge.